fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
