I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
