Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
