its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
