i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
