I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
