Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize