I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
