Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
