I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
