Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
