Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
