Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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