"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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