How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have so many feelings about this burrito
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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