why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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