Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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