Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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