I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize