i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
