I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
