So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
what the fuck happened to the tacos
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
