I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize