I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
