The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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