I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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