Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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