I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
