By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
