i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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