best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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