i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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