Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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