D3 body, D1 cock
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
