theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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