A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
