I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
