So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Bring me that man meat
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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