careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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