The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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