omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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