Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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