dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
