He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
