think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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