Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
