R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
