So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize