so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
