So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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