9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
