yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Shame - the story of my life.
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