don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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