The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
id be glad to
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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