PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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