I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
