Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
