Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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