He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just tell him i said nine months
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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