I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize